McSweeney's Internet Tendency

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Dear writers,
All of the satire and comedy we publish on this website comes from complete strangers such as yourselves. While we remain small and irresponsible and afflicted with mold-borne allergies, we do our best to respond to all submissions quickly and professionally. That said, there are a number of things you can do to further enhance and streamline the experience for yourselves and for your friendly McSweeney’s Internet Tendency editorial staff, which since 2007 has been by run one person out of a living room in a suburb of Boston, Massachusetts.
EMAIL SUBMISSION ADDRESSES
General website submissions should be sent to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
Timely submissions should be sent to timelysubmissions@mcsweeneys.net. This inbox is for super topical pieces riffing on big news stories of the last 24-48 hours. All types of submissions (lists, open letters, monologues, etc.) are allowed. Be sure to mark the subject field in your email as “TIMELY.” Also, let us know why you feel your piece is super timely, and feel free to include a link to a reputable news site for proof. Note: Submissions sent on Friday afternoons (EST) or over the weekend will be replied to sometime the following Monday (on Tuesday after three-day weekends).
Lists submissions should be sent to lists@mcsweeneys.net.
Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond submissions should be sent to openletters@mcsweeneys.net. (Note: We generally publish nonfiction letters that are written and signed by the submitter. Also, we are all set for letters about noisy neighbors, small animals/insects that have invaded your living space, and breaking up with inanimate objects, like Facebook and iPhones.)
Reviews of New Food submissions should be sent to newfood@mcsweeneys.net. Please note that we cannot pay for New Food Reviews at this time. Further explanation about this can be found below.
A NOTE ABOUT SENDING TO MULTIPLE EMAIL ADDRESSES SIMULTANEOUSLY
This is unnecessary. It all goes to the same editor anyway, so if you’re unsure which submissions email to send to, just pick one and we’ll figure out the rest later.
LENGTH
Submissions should be shortish. By shortish we mean an absolute maximum of 1,200 words, but in truth we veer toward pieces that are under 1,000 words, and snuggle closest to ones that are even shorter than that. Submissions of exactly 742 used to automatically appear on the site, as if by magic, but like so many good things, those days are gone.
YOUR NAME
Should be on your submission. Put it under the title of your piece. Absolutely all submissions must look like this:
My Funny Experience [story title]*
By William Williams [author’s name]
willywill@internet.com [email address]
@wilywill [twitter handle, if you have one]
The email address listed should be the one you would like to appear linked to your byline should we choose to publish your submission. Same goes for your Twitter handle. If you do not want your email address or Twitter handle linked to your byline, please tell us so.

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